Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
