just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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