I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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