It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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