just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
