I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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