he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
