The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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