is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
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its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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