I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
