Jerry, you need to find god
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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