He uses pillows to masturbate.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
