I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
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