M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
