Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
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dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
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I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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