We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
