Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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