He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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