i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
