Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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