all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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