I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
