i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
