Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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