My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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