so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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