To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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