he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
