You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
