Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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