Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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