Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
