i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
