Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
