in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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