i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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