One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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