WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
