Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Too much gin, very little bucket
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
