My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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