That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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