please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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