Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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