dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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