Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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