dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
