i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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