I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
