i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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