Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
