Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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