I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
