belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
