he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
