organizing the empties. That sober.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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