It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
