Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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