out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
