The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
