PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
