Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
