Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize