yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
