K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
