we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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