i don't like sucking hair
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
