im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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