Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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